Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Screenplay

My mind is a mysterious bitch. I've been slaving over 2 ideas for the past 2 weeks, one of which is the "literary" assignment I mentioned earlier. That was a psuedonym for a screenplay, but I won't get paid for a long while. The 2 ideas I've been cultivating with endless notes and back and forth with my 'idea guy' in New York are both solid as hell. But.

I have just thought of the beginning and middle of the perhaps the best screenplay -- well, it's a pretty solid idea. And I'm going to start writing it right now after a quick smoke-bust.

I could get paid (albeit, at a .0001% chance, no joke) for writing the other dudes idea, but I would enjoy myself a hell of a lot more if I write my own. That dudes title job and connections - which are filled with possibilities - notwithstanding, my idea is 1000x better anyway.

Hopefully you will not find a "Jammed 2" on this website anytime soon. Incidentally, this is easily the best blogging site on the internet. Google seems to make good decisions when they buy companies.

I'm off. To write what just might become this decades....never mind, I'm full of it. 5 scenes would be awesome.

Fiction

Jonathan Franzen once said that he and his best friend, the late David Foster Wallace, determined that "fiction is a way to combat lonlieness." I am now positing that Wallace wrote Infinite Jest because he was infinitely lonely (not really a big secret). And with this supposition I believe I just might know what Infinite Jest is about, finally.

I haven't read it since college, but c'mon, no one really knows what that book is about. The more I think about it, the more I realize I have no idea, I just know Franzen and Wallace are both fantastic writers and the death of David was massively unfair; to him and his friends and family.

There's a construct/plot device in the book that says there's a video somewhere that you literally cannot stop watching. You will watch it until you die because you won't eat or even move from your chair. I find that idea fascinating and frightening because on a metaphorical level, the internet and social networking websites have come pretty damn close to making the idea of 'infinite entertainment' a reality. And that is a very, very bad thing.

The first time I lived alone, I read tons and tons of books. I read one in a 30 hour binge once. I see now how lonely (and bored) I was, and as Franzen said, fiction was my defense mechanism. But, due to the lack of technological advancemets that year, I was able to overcome the lonliness. I did read a ton of books that year, but I finally got tired of reading and actually went out and socialized with friends at real, organic, places that don't exist in cyberspace.

I recall hanging out with a friend and having a 6 pack of Bud Light every Monday night. Going to a pub down the street to watch a baseball game. Going to lots of movies. The list goes on. But, if Facebook and Myspace were around back then, I would be even more semi-agorophobic than I am now. Without that year of being almost socially overwhelmed, I'm quite certain I'd have a much harder time living alone now (and yes, I have possibly regressed towards lonliness, but I don't feel lonely and don't think my semi-agorophobia is my fault). Shit, that was an important year. Kudos to the girl who basically made me get my own place.

But man, if I had the chance to sit on Facebook or whatever and write blogs all day (hmmm), I'd be totally stunted. I'd be the guy who's 30 and hasn't kissed a girl.

Kids today have way too many options for entertainment that don't involve "other people", which I realize is a concept that's scary and way the fuck out there...but people need people. And while it's cute to get a nice email now and then and read those useless facebook "status" things, the opportunity cost is far too great.

I'd like to conduct an experiement where a single 20-something doesn't log onto facebook for a week. The benefits could be unthinkably huge. It would be hard, especially on weekends - and especially if you live near Los Angeles, which is social-armageddon unless you are a movie producer or do tons of coke - but it's worth it. Unfortunately, I don't know any single 20 somethings, so I'm going to have to try this myself. I bet the following happens:

1) at least one person will be angry at me for ignoring them, yet won't pick up the phone
2) I will ask someone to hang out that I've never hung out with or asked.
3) I will think it sucks
4) But by the end of the week, I will see the folly of the internet (aside from online shopping, without this, I'd never buy anyone a Chritmas gift, and probably have about $20,000 more in my Savings account).

So starting at midnight tonight, I'm logging out and not logging back in.

When I break, I promise I will admit it. (I was soing to say I'll post the results, but I will totally break by like Tuesday).

Jammed

I finally received a plum writing assignment from an actual literary company, and will be paid upon completion and pulication. I'm to write 3,000 words about a topic that's so easy and on-my-mind-anyway, it should be writing itself.

I am majorly jammed. I cannot get started. I write a sentence, delete it, write another, delete, repeat. It's a hassle because I need money and while I've written stupid blogs on every site on the internet, I secretly think I'm a better writer than...well, you, and I think my writing is full of insights and quotes people are repeating around water coolers in offices across the land.

Once I start writing, I sometimes need to force myself to stop for fear or malnourishment or general psychoses. Not today boy, not even close. I think my sentences are amateur-hour swill. Maybe, however, if I can string together enough swill, I'll end up with something that I can edit into the realm of the unshitty.

This here blog and its content is the most poorly written piece of shit I've produced in years, maybe since high school.

Ah, high school. What a place. It was beautifully miserable. And Facebook is really screwing with my memories of those 3 years. I have zero desire to visit my high school town again, ever, at all, nor do I want to attend a reunion of my now-swollen-looking classmates, and do what we did back then: get really drunk and watch someone get in a fight. But considering how friendly I am, I accepted a friend request of a high school friend and it's been downhill ever since. People whose names make me shudder at their mere mention are hassling me via the Facebook email system, and I'm secure enough to admit that I'm too insecure to deny anyone.

I do ignore their emails, but I have to admit I find it fascinating how little has changed - everyone sounds like they did 10 years ago. Their interests are the same. The only difference is everyone is fatter and litterally everyone has a wife and/or children. Put another way, I haven't been surprised once by any autobiographical emails I've received from my days in _____. And I find that sad. Or maybe I'm arrogant to think I've changed in some profound way since high school. But, if I *am* arrogant, then that'a a change - I was way too insecure in HS to be arrogant, so suck on that.

Writing this little piece of detritus blog post did not get the creative juices going as I'd hoped. Well, shit on a shingle, I just don't know what to do. I have until Tuesday to write this fucker, so I suppose I can put it off while watching my 3rd movie in the past 8 hours.

And I swear to god I am going to snap if the car alarm going off outside my apartment doesn't stop. 6.5 hours of torture and counting.